Strong for too long – Removing the Masculine Armour to Reclaim the Power of the Feminine

Inspired by a conversation I recently had and an afternoon of inner work and reflection, I found myself sitting with a voice of realisation and a truth I hadn’t fully heard before. For much of my life, I’ve been living in my masculine energy. Not by choice, but by necessity. Having to leave my childhood family home at a young age, having to find my way in the scary big wide world, and like so many women who have walked the path of toxic relationships and solo motherhood, I’ve had to be the planner, the provider, the protector. I’ve held it all together, worn all the hats, and done what needed to be done. I got on with it.  

But what happens when all that shifts later in life? When we’ve left the toxic relationships behind, when our children grow and build their own lives, when the responsibilities ease, or when we finally realise … we don’t have to wear all those hats anymore? 

This blog is for every woman who’s forgotten how to soften now that she can, who needs reminding how to be in her feminine energy. For the woman who’s tired of carrying it all, of being everything to everyone. It’s for those of us who were praised for being “strong” when what we really needed was recognition, to feel, to be held, to just be. Strength has its place, but it’s not a label to define us.  It's for the women who are in their masculine and need reminding about their feminine aspect. 

This is a call to women ready to come home to the softness, the radiance, the truth of who you really are beneath the armour. 

Letting Go of  'Doing It All' – Rising from Masculine Mode to Feminine Flow 

There’s a quiet exhaustion that lives inside many modern women - from doing too much and being too much of what they’re not meant to be all the time. 

• Fixer  

• Planner 

• Guide/Teacher 

• Support 

• Decision maker 

Holding everything and everyone together while slowly and secretly falling apart inside.  

For generations now, women have been stepping into masculine energy to survive and thrive in a world that no longer supports the natural rhythm of the feminine. We’ve become experts in organisation, expected to be leaders both at home and in the workplace, pillars of strength for our families. And while there’s nothing wrong with strength or structure, there’s something very wrong when there is no space or support in between to soften, surrender, and receive - when being feminine has not only been lost but also undermined.  

What is masculine energy? 

Masculine energy is focused, goal-oriented, and protective. It’s the doing energy. It’s the list maker, the problem solver, the planner, the decider. We all carry both masculine and feminine energies within us – the ying to the yang – powerful when balanced. However, when a woman is operating out of alignment, coming from her masculine too often or for too long, it can lead to burnout, emotional disconnection, self-sabotage, and resentment, especially in relationships.  This is especially painful when having to "mother" our male partners. Having to give constant emotional support, guidance, and direction - when deep down, we crave to be supported, cherished, and led. 

Why are so many women stuck in masculine mode? 

Because life has demanded it - A lot of women now have to juggle it all - careers, motherhood, partnerships, running households. Stepping into roles that were never meant to be carried alone. Working full-time while managing the emotional and physical needs of a family. Being the one who remembers everything, plans everything, and keeps everything going. For many, it’s been about pure survival. 

Having to hold space for everyone else while putting their own needs to the side. And in doing so, losing touch with the part that longs to surrender, that wants to trust, to feel supported, to simply be. And voicing those needs is often frowned upon.  

For many women, especially solo mothers, there was simply no other choice. When you're raising children alone, you don’t just carry the nurturing mother role. You become the father too. The provider. The protector. The fixer. The one who always has to know what to do, even when you're running on empty. You learn to hold it all together because you have to. You stay “strong” because there's no one else to lean on. You build structure, routine, safety, everything that child needs. You make all the decisions, questioning whether it’s the right one. And you do it with fierce, protective love. 

Reclaiming the Inner Divine Feminine  

Then ... the challenge comes when the children grow up and we no longer need that constant structure, we often don’t realise that part of us can now ease and soften. The armour stays on. The masculine energy remains in overdrive. And we forget that it's now safe to return to our feminine essence. 

We forget we don’t have to do it all anymore. 

Some women don’t realise they’ve stayed in survival mode. That it’s now time to step into softness, pleasure, and sensuality. This isn’t a luxury, it's a natural birthright. 

The divine feminine is not weak. She is powerful in a different way. She is intuitive, magnetic, nurturing, sensual, creative, and deeply wise. She doesn’t need to force or fix anymore.  

She trusts. She attracts. She allows. 

Empowering your inner feminine is not about rejecting your masculine. It’s about restoring balance, giving yourself permission to live your truth.   

It’s about saying: 

• I don’t have to do it all 

• I don’t have to carry it alone 

• I am safe to receive 

• I am allowed to rest 

Re-awaken your feminine:

• Slow down - Make space every day to breathe, reflect, and simply be – no expectations, no agenda. 
• Connect with your body - Dance, stretch/yoga, walk, float in water. Come back to being aware of being in your body. 
• Feel your feelings - Let them rise without feeling guilt, repression or needing to fix them. Feel to heal. 
• Get creative - Make something with your hands. Write, paint, sing.  
• Open to Receive - Compliments, help, social time - allow others to give to you without guilt. 
• Set sacred boundaries - Being feminine doesn’t mean being walked over. It means knowing your worth and protecting your peace. 
• Surround yourself with healthy masculine energy - Whether in friends, mentors, or partners – spend time with those who make you feel safe in your feminine and not require the return of your masculine energy.  

You were never meant to carry the world on your shoulders. 
You are not just the fixer, the organiser, the strong one. 

You are a woman - soft yet fierce, radiant and wise. 
You are the sacred feminine. A goddess.

A force of nature. 

And when you finally allow yourself to return to that truth … you don’t just heal your own heart – your energy ripples out for others to rise, to soften, to love more deeply and authentically too.